[...]"You're not going to tell him about us, are you ?"
"I don't know. I really don't. While I was in the living room, I kept asking myself what I really wanted in my life." She squeezed his hand. "And do you know what the answer was? The answer was that I wanted two things. First, I want you. I want us. I love you and I always have."
She took a deep breath before going on.
"But I also want a happy ending without hurting anyone. And I know that if I stayed, people would be hurt. Especially Lon. I wasn't lying when I told you that I love him. He doesn't make me feel the same way you do, but I care for him, and this wouldn't be fair to him. But staying here would also hurt my family and friends. I would
be betraying everyone I know I don't know if I can do that."
"You can't live your life for other people. You've got to do what's right for you, even if it hurts some people you love."
"I know," she said, "but no matter what I choose I have to live with it. Forever. I have to be able to go forward and not look back anymore. Can you understand that?"
He shook his head and tried to keep his voice steady. "Not really. Not if it means losing you. I can't do that again."
She didn't say anything but lowered her head. Noah went on:
"Could you really leave me without looking back?"
She bit her lip as she answered. Her voice was beginning to crack. "I don't know. Probably not."
"Would that be fair to Lon?"
She didn't answer right away. Instead she stood, wiped her face, and walked to the edge of the porch where she leaned against the post. She crossed her arms and watched the water before
answering quietly.
"No."
"It doesn't have to be like this, Allie," he said. "We're adults now, we have the choice we didn't have before. We're meant to be together. We always have been."
He walked to her side and put his hand on her shoulder. "I don't want to live the rest of my life thinking about you and dreaming of what might have been. Stay with me, Allie."
Tears began to fill her eyes. "I don't know if I can," she finally whispered.
"You can. Allie... I can't live my life happily knowing you're with someone else. That would kill a part of me. What we have is real. It's too beautiful to just throw it away."
She didn't respond. After a moment he gently turned her toward him, took her hands, and stared at her, willing her to look at him. Allie finally faced him with moist eyes. After a long silence, Noah brushed the tears from her cheeks with his fingers,
a look of tenderness on his face. His voice caught as he saw what her eyes were telling him.
"You're not going to stay, are you?" He smiled weakly. "You want to, but you can't."
"Oh, Noah," she said as the tears began again, "please try to understand "
He shook his head to stop her.
"I know what you're trying to say--I can see it in your eyes. But I don't want to understand it, Allie. I don't want it to end this way. I don't want it to end at all. But if you leave, we both know we'll never see each other again."
[...]
